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Let’s be real — sex doesn’t always go smoothly. It’s often not as seamless and carefree as cinema.
Sexual performance anxiety is common — and it can affect anyone — but people with peniles often have to deal with it on a greater level. is expected physical response to arousaland few people are happy to talk about how often things go wrong.
Mike Johnson — of Bachelor Franchise fame — these days, Lovers and Friends with Shang Boudram On the podcast, he spoke candidly about his own experience with the unpredictability of erections. , which takes about two and a half months.
“I’m in my head and I don’t want her to feel like I just want her body. I’m overthinking so many things and overcompensating,” he said. told Boudrum.
Unrealistic body standards and porn may also play a role in the unpredictability of erections. Even knowing that these are paid actors creating fantasies, they set standards that no real human being can meet, said Carolanne Marcantonio. sex therapist Based in Brooklyn.
A lot of erectile dysfunction (aside from medical conditions) is also related to the inability to stay present in the body for pleasure because it’s so focused on performance, she added.
“A lot goes into this connection between masculinity and physical perfection,” she said. “It’s quite normal to have an erection that goes up and down during sex, foreplay, play, or whatever someone wants to call it. is unrealistic.”
Norms and judgments related to masturbation can also increase the risk of premature ejaculation, says Marcantonio. “For them, it’s about figuring out how to manage pleasure and how to feel in your body what’s going on so you can get closer to orgasm and slow it down,” Marcantonio said.
It is important to see a doctor if you are experiencing sexual performance issues. A urologist can check for health conditions that may require medical intervention.If you have anxiety about your sexual performance, she said, it can be treated with education and talk therapy. not anxiety Also depression.
There are several books that Marcantonio recommends his clients read. come as you are with Emily Nagoski new male sexuality By Bernie Zilbergerd. Additionally, a sex therapist can help you learn how to use performance-enhancing toys.
