What I am most grateful for, years after the band’s commercial success, was the early years of success that helped (and subsidized) my eventual becoming an artist. , that even subsequent reckless failures. I’m still hesitant about using the term “artist” self-referentially, but here’s what I mean. Today, I’m writing songs with my bandmate Jon Sebels without any delusions of commercial success. Because we simply want to make rocks, and we need to make them. Composition is about the transcendental thrill of the moment—no more, no less. It doesn’t matter if you dig up the recordings months later. I do not identify with it. It’s a specific moment.
Hearing lines like “You’re not your job,” Yeah, sure, okay, sounds kind of true in the abstractTo really, really know that is another thing altogether. In my experience, I cannot make the decision to assimilate this belief into my consciousness. There is an old cliché. That said, before presenting a list of actions to take, let’s be a little philosophical.
Who am I? What is really important to me? I exist in relation to others. friends and family. To my loved ones who love me Yeah, yeah, I know we live in a society, but for the purposes of this conversation, I think it’s okay to give back a little. Do you really need someone who knows me by name only (former kinda rock star) to do? No. Being overly concerned about how others may or may not perceive you is an excellent way to become status-bound and lose your creative true north.
I realized that I could let go of all my preconceived notions about myself, my band and my career and create my own avant-garde world free from the shackles of association.
Well, these days, you can’t be a self-help guru without numbering your steps (plus, I’m writing for BuzzFeed right now, and you guys fucking love lists). Not always easy. action:
- Call at least one friend or family member a day to see how they are doing. call instead of texting.
- Read great fiction. Reading literature helps us to know ourselves. I think the truth about the human condition is best revealed in stories. We also live in a time when the limits of our imagination of reality are acutely felt. Fiction is important.
- Find your “third place”. You can be tricked into joining a community in spite of yourself in a destination that is neither home nor work. For me, this is a public pool where I swim for miles with other masochists. We ask each other how the smoking cessation is progressing. Your girlfriend’s third place can be anything from a recreation center to a recovery group. it doesn’t matter. Meet friendly and honest faces and find ways to talk outside of work.
- I could have incorporated this into step 2 or 3, but it would take 6 steps to follow the gimmick. Anyway: host a movie night. This may sound corny and it probably isn’t, but do it anyway. This is what a friend of mine did when we were in early recovery together and now my girlfriend and I are doing it. Offers a selection of snacks and standards. Art and community are antidotes to loneliness and atomization.
- Take the social risks necessary to find your people. What this really means is to be happy to say hello and ask people questions about themselves. You may have more in common with coworkers than you think. If not, no problem. Go back to step 3.
- It evokes a kinder perspective on yourself and others. Instantly capture hearts with knee-jerk judgments of those you come in contact with on a particular day. Having a calm view of others, even those who may ostensibly irritate you, is a good way to learn to give yourself similar graces. The ego wants to maintain the illusion that we are separate from our fellow humans. Counter this by choosing to see the good in people whenever you can. If we choose to see the good in others, we can more easily see the good in ourselves.
I want to commend you for starting seeing a therapist and taking medication to help with your depression. I’m not going to tell you if you should quit. But before making a final decision on that matter, try to follow the steps above as much as you can.
Eve 6 Guy
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